just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
