We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize