dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he puts the penis in happiness.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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