Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
