Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yo dont text me then not text me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
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don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
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THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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