Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Randomize
