I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
