I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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