I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
