What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
