Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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