I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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