Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
