After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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