hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
