would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
