Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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