So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
