the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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