Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
you never un-have a 4some
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
