my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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