Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
