At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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