I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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