areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize