Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
