Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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