i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im holly from the hills drunk
birth control should be required to get into college
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
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There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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