you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
