Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
