Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
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he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
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I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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