Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
