remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
