You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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