dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize