I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dick very happy bro
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
