Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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