Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize