Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
