"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I will pee on everything he values.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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