Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I love black thongs
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
