I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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