Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
well you can't waste a boner
Four minutes until I can fart!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
