Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
