Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
