Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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