mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize