Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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