I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
