Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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