I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
