i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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