I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
