Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
