Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Randomize
