she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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