I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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