I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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