I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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