I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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