I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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