R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Randomize
