capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
