do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
