Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
