You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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