So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
