i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize