Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
